5 red flags of a coach you SHOULD NOT hire
I am writing this article right after another client finished off the session with these words: I regret paying the other 4 coaches. I thought it wouldn't matter which person to work with as they all are qualified and suppose to deliver a good job. Thank you for truly getting me! When I heard something similar for the first time, I smiled as I thought that was just a nice thing for the client at the time to say. That particular person worked with two coaches before but didn't feel like she progressed a lot. But as time was moving on and I heard these words again and again it made me wonder how on Earth some other coaches do not aim at delivering the best they can. Don't they feel like a total failure when they don't see changes in their client lives? But the truth is, just like any other industry, coaching will have some fabulous coaches and... some really bad ones. Just like there are some really bad dentists, car mechanics, etc. The good thing is - that YOU have a choice. The bad thing is: without knowing the difference between the good and the bad, you will waste your time and money. Remember, that the coaching industry is not regulated, so after paying your money - there is no one you can complain to. So next time you are just about to hire a coach, pay attention to these RED FLAGS: 1. Someone who doesn't walk their talk. Every time I hear someone like a "motivational person" complaining about how terrible their life is or someone who "helps others to live limitless lives" actually covers themselves with excuses of how limited their lives are - I cringe and feel terribly sorry for their clients. Everyone had a journey and everyone is still on the journey, but you won't go to a teacher who doesn't speak Japanese to learn that language - hoping they will learn more by the time they will teach you. NO - simple is that. Why learn from those who are STILL on their journey if you have a choice to learn from those who already have been where you are now? Don't fall into the reverse rolled situation where you will become a therapist of your coach. TIP: Choose someone who walks their talk. This so-obvious point was an eye-opener to many coaches who went through the coaching course with me. Many were not doing the things they were preaching to clients and were quite upset when they discovered that. The best thing about that discovery was that they could improve on it. And they did, as the part of their homework was to take themselves on their own coaching client's journey. I LOVED hearing the revelations they had at the next course sessions and the best thing was getting thank you emails after they completed the course and went on their own separate journeys... 2. Someone who doesn't work on themselves. Remember, no one is perfect, neither are coaches. But would you trust a plastic surgeon knowing since they got their education and license they haven't been improving and learning more? NOO! So if you wouldn't trust your face or other body parts to someone who never was upskilling themselves, why would you trust your LIFE to someone who just got certification and stopped learning? A coach who truly believes in coaching will have a coach for themselves. If they don't have a coach - they either don't have money to pay (which means their business is not doing well and they are not resourceful enough to find other ways) or they don't believe that they need one. Does it mean they chose to stop growing? Hmm... TIP: Check on your potential coach when was the last time they went on a personal development event, what are they working on, what was their most recent breakthrough, do they have a coach, are they in any mastermind, what are they reading right now, etc. Remember, when you have a so-called discovery session with your potential coach, it's your time to interview them and to make sure they are the right fit for you! 3. Someone who shouts about their certifications and titles louder than about the success stories of their clients. I am a huge believer in education, courses and certifications, so let's make it clear: yes, your coach must be qualified as qualification means they have the knowledge you don't have. HOWEVER...when was the last time you came to the doctor with a problem, seeking a solution and instead you were listening for half an hour how super qualified they are? I know the answer, in 99% - never. Your doctor is there to provide you with a solution because THEY KNOW and understand your problem. TIP: Don't get fooled by flashy titles and instead, check their real recommendations and real testimonials. 4. Cheap coach. You get what you pay for, have you heard that phrase? Unfortunately, many inexperienced and underqualified coaches know this rule, too and they play on feelings: charging a lot hoping people will think they are good. And people think they are good. Only to realise that that was a myth. How to be wiser here? What's the right amount to pay? How much is expensive? I know you have all these questions and unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, which is actually a good thing! TIP: choose a coach who will charge you more than you can comfortably pay. WHY? Because when you pay for something that costs let's say just a tenner, your subconscious level of commitment is low. That's why free or low-cost events have a lot more cancellations than costly events. That's why cheap cars more often are neglected and not maintained as they should versus sports cars. So when I was working with my very first coach, I paid £500.00 for 10 sessions. I thought I had a great deal, and I did, moneywise. That coach wasn't a coach to stretch me. 8 sessions out of 10 I felt like he needed coaching himself and he often was referring to his life and his problems. When I eventually hired someone and paid £10 000.00 for 10 sessions, I felt very nervous and worried before we started and I was working on myself with that coach like never before. I felt a very high responsibility and accountability and every session brought a breakthrough. 5. Someone who drains your energy and you feel tired after speaking to them. Whether you believe in energy fields, chakras, intuition, symbolism or spirituality, or not - it doesn't matter as just like gravity, that all exists despite your ability or inability to trust it or not. So when after speaking to someone you have a "funny" feeling, or intuition tells you not to go ahead with that person or it just doesn't feel good - TRUST that feeling.
TIP: If something doesn't feel good, most likely it is not good for you! Your mind will try to trick you, paying more attention to the facts, like that person's qualifications, social media presence or anything else. But stay in tune with your inner feeling as that is your best compass. This is not to say that now you have to ignore the logic, but by staying connected to yourself you will save yourself from regrets. Trusting intuition and truly connecting with their clients is something I highlight when I work with coaches who want to be the top level professionals. Surely, intuition itself is a separate topic and I can write a lot about it, but the bottom line is: both parties must connect well for amazing and transformational results.
I personally, refused dozens of clients in just over a decade's time who wanted to work with me - because my internal feeling was a strong "nooooo"! There could be various reasons for that, without knowing that person more, it is difficult to say why exactly was the answer "no". But in some cases, a few of them got back to me a while after, thanking for not taking them earlier on as they were simply not ready, but just "wanted" to work with me.
I hope this article will help you to make a wise choice next time you will be hiring a coach to take you to the next level!