How to Restore Connection and Save Your Relationship
- Olga Geidane
- Apr 7
- 6 min read
Every relationship has its moments—you know, those times when you're staring at your partner, thinking, Did I really sign up for this?
Maybe it's the way they chew too loudly, or maybe it's something deeper—like feeling unheard, disconnected, or stuck in the same old arguments.
But before you start planning your dramatic exit ("I shall disappear into the mountains and become a hermit!"), let’s talk about how to restore connection, bring back the love, and—dare I say it—maybe even enjoy each other again.
The couple that almost broke up over a dishwasher
One of my clients, a highly successful CEO (let’s call him Mark), came to me convinced that his marriage was falling apart. “We argue every day,” he said. “She doesn’t respect me. I don’t feel valued.”
When I asked for examples, he sighed. “Like last night—she flipped out because I didn’t load the dishwasher her way.”
Now, at first glance, this sounds ridiculous. A grown man considering divorce over dishwasher logistics? But here’s the truth: it was never about the dishwasher.
His wife felt unseen and unappreciated. He felt criticised and disrespected. The dishes were just the battlefield where their deeper wounds played out.
And this is what happens in relationships—we’re not fighting about what we think we’re fighting about. The real issue is almost always emotional, historical, and sometimes a little ridiculous when you really break it down.
So, how do we fix it?
1. Recognise what’s really happening (hint: it’s not about the socks on the floor)
Disconnection doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow drip of unmet emotional needs, miscommunication, and—let’s be honest—our own emotional baggage from the past.
Ask yourself:
✔️ When did we start feeling distant?
✔️ What patterns keep repeating?
✔️ Am I expecting this relationship to fail because of my past experiences?
Self-sabotage alert:
If you haven't healed from a previous relationship, you might expect this one to go the same way—whether you realise it or not. If your ex cheated, you might look for "signs" your current partner will do the same. If your last relationship was emotionally draining, you might unconsciously bring that same guarded energy here.
The result? You create the very thing you're afraid of!
2. Have conversations that don’t sound like a courtroom interrogation
Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about actually understanding each other (shocking, I know).
Avoid:
❌ "You always do this!" (Nobody always does anything, except maybe breathe.)
❌ "You never listen!" (Never? Not once? Ever?)
Try instead:
"I feel disconnected when we don’t spend time together."
"Can we find a way to handle conflicts without shutting down?"
Relationship Hack:
Set a “relationship check-in” once a week—over coffee, a walk, or even while doomscrolling on the sofa. Just 10 minutes of real talk can do wonders.
If you’re looking to dive even deeper into self-reflection and healing within your relationship, I’ve created a Relationship Journal designed to help you reconnect with yourself and your partner. It includes powerful prompts, guided exercises, and space to process emotions, release old wounds, and set intentions for love.
Whether you're working through challenges or simply want to nurture a stronger bond, this journal is your personal roadmap to better conversations and to a more fulfilling, connected relationship.
3. Bring back the spark (yes, even if they still breathe too loudly)
Remember when you actually liked each other? When did that stop?
Ways to reconnect:
Make eye contact. No, really—look at them properly.
Share a 6-second kiss every day (Science says it boosts connection, and who are we to argue with science?).
Do something fun together—not just “watch Netflix in the same room while scrolling your phones.”
Try a 10-second long hug:
A hug isn’t just a hug—it’s an energetic exchange, a moment where two souls meet beyond words. When done with intention, a hug has the power to dissolve tension, heal emotional wounds, and restore balance between the masculine and feminine energies in a relationship.
But here’s the key: hold the hug for at least 10 seconds.
Why? Because something magical happens in those moments.
At first, the mind is still engaged. The body might be tense, the breath shallow. But if you stay in the hug—without rushing, without pulling away—something shifts. The nervous system calms. The heartbeats sync. And if you’re holding a feminine partner, watch for the moment her shoulders drop.
That’s when she surrenders.
That’s when her body stops holding onto the day’s stress, the mental to-do lists, the subtle fears she didn’t even realise she was carrying. It’s in that moment of release that the deepest connection happens.
One of my clients reconnected with her husband by… playing mini golf. No deep therapy sessions, no dramatic heart-to-hearts. Just ridiculous laughter and mildly aggressive putt-putt competition. Sometimes, it really is that simple.
4. Heal Unresolved Pain Together
Unresolved pain is like an unwashed coffee cup in the sink—it festers.
Healing approach:
Apologise when needed (and not just with a passive-aggressive "I'm sorry you feel that way").
Let go of keeping score—this isn’t a championship match.
If deep wounds exist, consider couples therapy or personal healing work (because sometimes, love alone isn't enough—it needs tools).
One of the simplest yet most profound ways to restore harmony in your relationship is through Ho’oponopono, a beautiful Hawaiian forgiveness practice. It’s not just about saying the words—it’s about shifting the energy between you and your partner, clearing past hurts, and allowing love to flow freely again.
You can practice Ho’oponopono together by saying it out loud to each other, or silently, in your own mind, directing the energy towards your partner. Both ways work—what matters is the sincerity behind it.
Ho’oponopono involves four powerful phrases:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
At first glance, it might seem too simple. How can four short sentences fix years of miscommunication, resentment, or emotional distance?
It works not because it magically turns your partner into an enlightened being. It works because it clears emotional baggage, softens resentment, and makes it easier to reconnect. If done with sincerity, it shifts your energy, which in turn affects the relationship.
Switch from criticism to appreciation (before your partner becomes an emotional hedgehog)
Your brain is wired to notice problems. But love thrives where attention flows. If all you focus on is what's wrong, guess what? You’ll find more of what’s wrong.
Daily practice:
Say one genuine thank you to your partner every day.
Notice the little things: “I appreciate you making tea” instead of assuming tea just magically appears.
Instead of complaining about what’s missing, celebrate what’s there.
6. Remember why you chose each other in the first place
Couples drift apart when they stop growing together.
Couples that grow together - stay togetehr.
Ask yourself:
What dreams, goals, or values once bonded us?
Have we stopped being curious about each other?
Are we still showing up for this relationship like we did in the beginning?
One of my CEO clients saved his marriage by doing one simple thing: he started dating his wife again. He booked surprise dinners, left love notes, and actually listened when she spoke. And guess what? She softened. The distance faded. The love came back.
7. Know when to fight for it—and when to walk away
Not all relationships are meant to be saved. The real question is: Is this relationship still worth fighting for?
Ask yourself:
Do we both want to make this work?
Are we stuck in negative cycles we can’t break?
Would external support (like coaching, therapy, or a course like From Heartbreak to Happiness) help us reconnect faster?
If there’s love and willingness, it’s worth the effort. But if your relationship feels like a never-ending cycle of pain, ask yourself if staying is truly the best choice for your soul.
The choice is yours
Relationships aren’t perfect, but they are a choice—every single day. The choice to love, to listen, to heal, and to reconnect.
And if you’ve read this far, it means you care. That alone is a beautiful sign.
So before you call it quits, try these steps. Love can be rebuilt—sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective (and maybe a 6-second kiss 😉).
Start with YOU—because when you heal, love flows effortlessly.
Ready to deepen your connection, clear old patterns, and master the art of conscious relationships?
Join me for my monthly ONLINE Relationship Mastery Intensive—a powerful 2-hour event for couples and singles ready to transform their relationship dynamics from the inside out.
Or if you're ready to take it to the next level… Check out the next available transformative retreats for couples in Bali, Gran Canaria, and Fiji – the most powerful places on Earth to reignite love and heal together:👉 www.olgageidane.com/events
Let’s bring the healing home, together. ❤️