How to find your The One or Mr / Mrs Perfect?
One of the most commonly asked questions I am asked often, is: "Why I can't find The Perfect One?"
And I truly wish I had a directory for those who are looking and want to be found...
But I don't... at least not yet?!
And usually, I always ask a question back: “Do you know who you are looking for?”.
Surprisingly enough, many people (if not most) usually answer: "Of course I know! I wish for him/her not to be blah blah blah".
That always makes me smile.
I just imagine you come into the restaurant and get seated...
...the waiter comes to you and asks what you want to order.
And here you go:
- "May I order not the fish, neither beef, neither pork for me and I don't want vegetables. In addition to that, I don't like food being hot, as well as can't stand it cold. I don't want any type of sauce on top of anything you will bring, and... yes, no fizzy drinks at all. That gives me an upset tummy."
Do you get the idea?
Why do you know what type of car you would like to buy, what kind of shoes (well, ladies: more or less!) you need and what kind of a house you want?
All that is not even life-changing. However, you are ready to invest so much time and effort into finding "that one!" - especially when it comes to your home!
Therefore, before complaining about not being able to find anyone, please ask yourself first, what are you actually looking for?
Don't start with what you don't like or want.
Start with what qualities your other half must have.
The perfect way of doing it is to write all that comes into your head in three columns:
- one for "Qualities must have";
- the second for "I can live with these negative qualities";
- and the last one is for "No-no qualities".
You will quickly realize that the last column will be filled in the quickest, and you will probably struggle with the first one for some time.
Why is it important to know what kind of person you are looking for?
Because your other half is not just a height and hair colour - that person, like you, has some likes and dislikes, hobbies and friends.
Family, past and many other aspects made him or her the way they are and you have no right to change them!
Therefore, you better have your "measurement system" ready, meet and compare without that cheeky thought ", I will change them!" - and see if you want this ready "product".
I am sure you were disappointed in life by people who pretended to be better than they are: tidier, funnier, and caring.
And once you are together for a while, you notice they "suddenly changed".
Was it a true change, or were you hoping they would be different and not notice how different they were?
That's why you need your "Mr or Mrs perfect list" - to help you see and tick more or less all the boxes before deciding whether to be together or not.
I wish you a happy list-creating and meeting someone extraordinary!
Remember to know exactly what you want and believe you will get it!